Of zealots and zombies: A nymphotextual refutation of G. P. Zelionys Über die zukünftige Soziophysiologie (Archiv für Rassen- und Gesellschafts-Biologie9(4):405–429, July–August 1912), put out by D. I. Swopes, in partial fulfillment of the requirements for be(com)ing Our Resident Lectuer (ORL).